Back in April, when Howard Stern announced plans for a late-Saturday-night TV show syndicated by CBS-owned Eye-mark Entertainment, he ridiculed rival Saturday Night Live as "lazy," "old" and "tired." So imagine our disappointment last month when he unveiled an alternative that was lazy, old and tiresome. We're not accusing Stern of laziness in the physical sense. The self-crowned "King of All Media" gets up early every weekday morning to commit sundry outrages on his nationally syndicated radio program. But judging from the first two outings, his new weekly hour on broadcast TV will not be substantially different from the half-hour Stern samples seen Sunday through Friday at 11 and 11:30 p.m. on cable's E! Entertainment Television. This means that except for a few made-for-TV segments, The Howard Stern Radio Show apparently will rely on videotaped highlights (we use the term advisedly) from Howard Stern's radio show. You heard right: Now you can peer into a dimly lit radio studio and see a former professional stripper give Stern a lap dance; see an overweight, surgically scarred woman disrobe in a desperate bid to win a "Frankenstein Makeover"; see a misguided 15-year-old male strain to set some sort of record for flatulent emissions. We hate to say this, but we'd rather watch Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri do their SNL cheerleader routine for the 99th time.