Mailbag

UPDATED 03/19/2001 at 01:00 AM EST Originally published 03/19/2001 at 01:00 AM EST

Tom and Nicole II
Let me get this straight. I'm supposed to feel sorry for Nicole Kidman because the private jets could go to Tom and she might have to fly commercial? Please tell me where I can send my donation for the Nicole Kidman private-jet foundation.
Honor Taylor, Council Bluffs, Iowa

Nicole's lawyer's comment that she should receive a settlement that would allow her to maintain the lifestyle she grew accustomed to while married to Tom is another example of how the rich and famous feel they should somehow be treated differently from the rest of us. For those of us who were downsized during the "prosperous" mid-'90s, did anyone ask what "lifestyle" we had grown accustomed to? We were instead told that we needed to adapt to the new reality. Maybe Nicole does too.
Nick Constantinou, Athens

I don't know what all the excitement has been over Tom Cruise. I always thought he looked like a rat. Now he proves to be one. I hope Nicole stands her ground and claims what is hers from this marriage.
Elaine Wright, Atlanta

I could not believe you wasted another cover on this. Oh, boohoo! Poor Tom and Nicole. Give it a rest! They are human; it's a divorce. Give us something worth reading!
Christine Brill, Mechanicsburg, Pa.

The Gault Family
What a survival story! It's wonderful that all the human members of the Gault family were rescued and so sad about Barney, their dog. But what happened to George, the macaw?
Caroline Kratz, Kaneohe, Hawaii

Mirth Gault happily reports that George survived the plane crash and is doing "just fine."—ED.

Laura Doyle
Women like Laura Doyle should be ashamed of themselves. What kind of message are people like her sending out to impressionable children? That if you happen to be female, you should just keep quiet and defer to your man? Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
Jennifer Smith, Texarkana, Texas

Laura Doyle is such an inspiration. I am eagerly awaiting a second book from her. I imagine the title will be Coping with Mortgages, Paying the Bills, Understanding Medicare and Learning How to Pick Out Your Own Clothes After Your Husband Dies Because Now That He's Gone, You Don't Have a Clue!
Mary Ellen Whitehead, Englewood, Fla.

As a marriage-and-family therapist, I find Laura Doyle's views disheartening and frightening. By definition, surrender means "to give oneself up, as to the enemy." The implication, then, is that the relationship is fragmented into opposing sides, which is completely inconsistent with the basic premise of marriage. Marriage is a union that necessitates compromise and joint effort. I cringe to think of the thousands of women who will read this article and consider "surrender" a viable option. Trust this professional—it's not!
Christine Lillja, Lake Forest, Calif.

Most wives reading The Surrendered Wife would dismiss the entire concept and declare Laura Doyle an idiot. I speak for a growing number of wives digging deeply into the meaning of "surrender" and putting the changes into practice. Ten years of marriage and I'm enjoying the transformation in my husband. I've changed, and he's meeting more of my needs than ever before.
Patti L. Lachapelle, Greenville, R.I.

I tried Laura Doyle's approach with my husband. As a Christian, I felt it was my obligation to trust and obey him and let him run the house, as Christ is head of the church. Do you know where it got me? Bankruptcy! We moved 10 times in nine years; he had the children and me completely dependent on him, and there he was, making all the decisions. One of them was to have as many affairs as he wanted. Well, as soon as I took the reins away from him, I began to live the life I believe God intended me to live. I have been employed several years with the same firm, am getting my master's, and my children won't grow up believing that they have to depend on a man for anything. They can depend on God and themselves—and me.
Name Withheld

Rosalie Talbert
While I have sympathy for the physical effects that AAMPII Pro has left her to deal with, Rosalie Talbert needs to take some responsibility for this result. When will people stop looking for the easy fix to weight problems? If an offer looks too good to be true, it probably is.
Kathy deGuzman, Boardman, Ohio

A word to the wise. Before ingesting a product that claims it is natural, remember: Rattlesnake venom is natural too.
Mary Garrett, Rexmont, Pa.

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