What a Mess

updated 09/17/2001 AT 01:00 AM EDT

originally published 09/17/2001 AT 01:00 AM EDT

Expatriate JOHNNY DEPP, who now resides in Paris full-time, offered up his slovenly take on French style at the Manhattan premiere of Chocolat in December. The PEOPLE panel's advice? Baguette.

Down and out of chic coordinates, a mismatched MEG RYAN shopped in Beverly Hills last December. "The shoes ruin the whole outfit," laments PEOPLE'S Steven Cojocaru. "She looks like she's in a rock opera version of Mary Poppins,"

Horoscope (LEO): This month your supermodel girlfriend Gisele Bundchen will make you take a shower. For actor DICAPRIO (running errands in Hollywood in June), we have three words of advice: wash, rinse, repeat.

Even her ape suit fit better than the frumpy sweater, high-water pants and tractor treads that Planet of the Apes star HELEH BONHAM CARTER sported while trekking through Beverly Hills in December. Ponders Cojocaru: "Is she auditioning for the next Survivor?"

Yo ho ho and a bottle of Tide! Our panel hopes that after roving about LA. in March, A Knight's Tale star HEATH LEDGER swashbuckled his way to the barbershop and dry cleaner's.

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