Winners & Losers
The King may be dead (or not!), but Elvis 30 # 1 Hits made its debut at No. 1 in 2002. And—bonus point!—Elvis had Nic Cage as a son-in—law—for all of 108 days.
2. PAULA ABDUL
Seven years since Head over Heels, she shows up as a judge on American Idol. "The kids," says cohost Ryan Seacrest, "knew exactly who she was."
3. AL ROKER
A winner for being a loser. Down 100 lbs., the Today weatherman can see the benefits of weight reduction—not to mention his toes.
4. LANCE ARMSTRONG
The world's fittest cancer survivor got on his bike and, pedaling up Pyrenees and down Alps, on lane and highway, won a fourth Tour de France.
5. TOBEY MAGUIRE
He grew muscles without using steroids, sprinted up tall buildings and, playing the most conflicted of superheroes, became a star as Spider-Man took in $403, 706, 375.
6. QUEEN ELIZABETH
She resurrected her popularity with a Golden Jubilee that once more earned her the enthusiastic huzzahs of her devoted subjects. Good show, ma'am!
7. LEO DICAPRIO
The Titanic is salvageable, so why not Leo's career, which sank after the 1997 movie? With Gangs of New York and Catch Me If You Can, it's full speed ahead.
8. RUDY GIULIANI
In a frenetic year, he launched a lucrative consulting business, wrote a bestseller, accepted an honorary knighthood, got engaged—and lost the comb-over.
9. NANCY PELOSI
The first woman to be elected Congress's Minority Leader, California Democrat Pelosi is just a landslide away from being head of the House.
10. DAVID CARUSO
After NYPD Blue, he spent eight years in the wilderness. Now he's starring in CSI: Miami. Is there something about murder victims that brings out his best work?
1. MICHAEL JACKSON
The self-proclaimed King of Pop starred in Tommy-Mottola-Is-a-Racist, Dangle-the-Baby-off-the-Balcony and Kids-in-Veils-at the-Zoo. And don't forget the nose thing.
2. GEORGE MICHAEL
His comeback video "Shoot the Dog" belittled the war on terrorism. Result: no comeback! Generally ignored in Britain, "Shoot" hasn't even been released in the U.S.
3. TRENT LOTT
Say a few words at Strom Thurmond's 100th-birthday bash: good. Wax nostalgic for Strom's 1948 segregationist vision of America: really bad. Next time, call Willard Scott.
4. LANCE BASS:
Expected to blast off to the International Space Station in October, the 'N Sync singer is grounded because the Russian have yet to see a kopeck of his $20 million fare.
5. LIZA MINNELLI AND DAVID GEST
Their reality TV show didn't fly because VH1 found them difficult; now they're suing for $23 million. For pain, suffering and soiling the carpet?
6. PRINCESS ANNE
Dotty, her English bull terrier, bit two commoners. Although fined 500 pounds, Anne got to keep her head. Or is that part of the punishment?
7. JANET RENO
A distinguished résumé, a compelling life story—but not enough votes. Running for governor in Florida, Reno didn't even make it past the Democratic primary.
8. PHIL DONAHUE
Don't get sensitive about this—but the '80s are over. Brought back by MSNBC to host a talk show, Phil couldn't find his mojo. Marlo might be the only person watching.
9. ROB LOWE
He's walking away from The West Wing, reportedly in a squabble over money. Great, now he has time to hone his role as Number Two in the next 30 Austin Powers sequels.
10. ROBERT BLAKE
Arrested in April, a year after his wife's murder, he's been denied bail, gone gray and fallen out with his lawyer. "Seven months later," he said, "I'm still sitting in a cement box."