Picks and Pans Review: Shut Up

updated 01/13/2003 at 01:00 AM EST

originally published 01/13/2003 01:00AM

Kelly Osbourne (Epic)

Kelly Osbourne should have quit while she was ahead. With its wink-wink nod to dad Ozzy, her cover of Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" (originally featured on The Osbournes Family Album released last June and included as a bonus track here) was cheesy fun. But as her forgettable first full-length CD shows, it takes a whole lot more than the right pedigree and the right haircut to make credible punk rock. The brattiness that may be amusing on MTV's reality show The Osbournes wears thin quickly on this disc, which was entirely cowritten by Osbourne. "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah," she whines in her nasal, karaoke-level voice on the annoying title track. Worse, though, is when she slows things down for the album's only ballad, the overwrought "More Than Life Itself," on which she comes off as a cut-rate Courtney Love.

BOTTOM LINE: No, you shut up

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