Personal Tragedy

A Final Goodbye

UPDATED 05/05/2003 at 01:00 AM EDT Originally published 05/05/2003 at 01:00 AM EDT

...You can't begin to fathom, cannot begin to even glimpse the enormity of the changes I have and am continuing to undergo. God takes you to the depths of your being, until you're at rock bottom, and then, if you turn to Him with utter and blind faith and resolve in your heart and mind to walk only with Him and towards Him, picks you up with your bootstraps and leads you home. I hope and pray that all my guys get out of this in one piece, but I tell you, Mel, I am at peace. Deeply saddened by the glimpses of death and destruction that I have seen, but at peace with my God and with you....

Save this note. Look at it a month from now, a year from now, ten years from now. You cannot know now, nor do I, whether you will look back at it with tears, heartbreak, and a sense of anguish and regret over what might have been, or whether you will say he was and is a changed man, God has worked a miracle in our lives. And not to be trite, but that will set me free.

God bless you, Melanie. I love you and I know that you love me. Please give the girls a big hug, squeeze them tight, and let them know just how much their daddy loves and cares for them.

With love and devotion,

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