Picks and Pans Review: Tales from the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood
Dennis Miller, Angie Everhart, Corey Feldman, Erika Eleniak
To borrow the vernacular of the vampires who populate this movie, Bordello of Blood sucks. The only redeeming moments in this turnip-brained horror spoof come in a couple of throwaway lines by the snidely puckish Miller, who may someday come to regard Bordello as his own personal Cabin Boy, the movie that sprang a leak in David Letterman's Hollywood career.
Otherwise, the movie is one big slosh bucket of exploding bodies and flaming corpses. The performances are either so woodenly bad (Eleniak, playing a sweet young religious zealot), or campily peppy (Everhart, as a vampire queen given to gnawing on human hearts), that the film ought to be double-billed with Showgirls. (R)
On Newsstands Now
- Amy Robach: 'I'm Lucky to Be Alive'
- Paul Walker: Inside His Tragic Death
- Julia Roberts: Choosing Family Over Hollywood
Pick up your copy on newsstands
Click here for instant access to the Digital Magazine