Picks and Pans Review: Mars Attacks!
Directed by Tim Burton (Ed Wood), Attacks purports to be a send-up of the clunky sci-fi flicks of the '50s. Nicholson, as a U.S. President, at first welcomes an invasion from Mars as a boost to his political career. But he realizes the error of his conniving ways when the bulbous-headed aliens vaporize Congress and kidnap Sarah Jessica Parker, a vapid talk show hostess, and Brosnan, a presidential advisor. Earth's only defense is to crank up some Slim Whitman records because his yodel hurts their ears.
It tells you something that the highlight of this alleged satire is when an alien prankster grafts Parker's head onto the body of a Chihuahua. For that matter, Attacks' only real virtue is its consistency: On every level, whether it's acting, humor, action or special effects, it is consistently disappointing. (PG-13)"
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