He's Just Not That into You
A line of dialogue from Sex and the City spawns a surprise-hit advice book
Self-help titles don't come much more chilling than this one, inspired by a Sex and the City episode in which Miranda learns the real reason a cute guy never calls again. Authors Liz Tuccillo, a former Sex executive story editor, and Greg Behrendt, a comedian and show consultant, explain their tough-love wisdom:
WHO THOUGHT OF THE TITLE LINE? Behrendt (who is married): I did. One of the show's writers was talking about her date: "He didn't want to come up because he had work tomorrow." All the girls said, "He's probably really busy." I said, "No. He's just not that into you."
HOW DID THE WOMEN IN THE ROOM REACT? Tuccillo (who is single): We all shrieked. We thought he was the meanest person. Then we thought, "Wait. He might be on to something." We kept coming up with examples where we thought the guy had a good excuse, but Greg was like, no.
ARE THERE EVER GOOD REASONS FOR A GUY NOT CALLING? LIKE, COMA? Behrendt: A guy would rather lose his arm than tell you he doesn't want to go out with you anymore. They'll drag you along and hope things will fade like a song.
THAT'S DEPRESSING. Behrendt: Actually, I see this book as starting a revolution: Women will recognize when things are bad and get out. Tuccillo: Take me, for example. I could have learned brain surgery with the energy I've spent on men who aren't into me.
WHAT ARE SOME OTHER RED FLAGS? Behrendt: He's not that into you if he's too tired to see you. He's not that into you if every time you have sex, he's drunk. He's not that into you if he's married.
LIZ, HAS WRITING THE BOOK HELPED YOUR SOCIAL LIFE? Tuccillo: I've become more confident. At a party a man was talking to me all night. At the end he wrote down his Web address and said, "Look at my Web site and e-mail me what you think." I thought, "Web address? I deserve more than that."
HE WASN'T THAT INTO YOU? Tuccillo: He was. The next day he asked me out to dinner. A really expensive dinner.
Your Reaction
