Picks and Pans Review: Life as We Know It

updated 10/11/2004 AT 01:00 AM EDT

originally published 10/11/2004 AT 01:00 AM EDT

ABC (Thursdays, 9 p.m. ET)

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Suggested rule for this new show about teens with raging hormones: Any high school boy who talks to the camera gets a week's detention.

Hunky jock Dino (Sean Faris), sarcastic Ben (Jon Foster) and comparatively sensitive Jonathan (Chris Lowell) are buddies with two things in common: an obsession with sex and a compulsion to communicate directly with the audience. In the Oct. 7 premiere, Dino tells us how much he wants to deflower girlfriend Jackie (Missy Peregrym), while Ben confides a desire for extracurricular ecstasy with enticing English teacher Ms. Young (Marguerite Moreau), and Jonathan admits he'd like to do it with pal Deborah (Kelly Osbourne, fairly convincing away from The Osbournes) even though she's overweight. The characters tell us practically nothing in their frequent asides that we couldn't infer from the dialogue, raising the possibility that the writers think the viewers are a little dense.

Ambivalent Jonathan and increasingly possessive Deborah share a few truthful moments, but the teacher-student sexual tease has no class.

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