updated 12/27/2004 AT 01:00 AM EST
•originally published 12/27/2004 AT 01:00 AM EST
Skull encases lump of gray matter teeming with abnormal amount of Jeopardy! trivia.
The Stumper, able to quick-freeze him with one question out of a billion. (Human identity: Alex Trebek)
Amazing ability to spin everything he touches into the best—the classiest resort, the sexiest fiancée, the finest bottled water. Even turns what looks like defeat—casino bankruptcy—upside down: It's good for the company!
Conspicuous comb-over hair (stiffness of strands suggests plutotitanium) deflects negative buzz.
Burning through guys faster than an X-Chick with laser vision while defying space and time to leap from party to party.
Mutant powers developed by prolonged proximity to enormous stacks of money.
Renée Zellweger & George Clooney
In the never-ending battle for truth, bigger roles and awards, can instantly morph into pudgy or skinny.
Where do the pounds go? Secret theory: From one star to the other!
SUPERFRIEND OR FOE?
Kirstie Alley. Hard to tell.
Draws energy from his customized Facet Changer to transform himself in mere nanoseconds per photo op: designer, actor, hip-hop impresario and political sloganeer ("Vote or die!").
"P. Diddy." "Puff Daddy," "Puffy"