Pretty soon every semi-famous family in L.A. with vapid kids and a $40 million mansion will have its own reality show—unless I can somehow singlehandedly stop them. Let me start by trashing this Simple Life rip-off, set at music producer David Foster's 22-acre spread. Stepsons Brody and Brandon Jenner (dad is Olympian Bruce and mom is Foster's wife, songwriter Linda Thompson) are freeloaders, and Foster is determined to make them earn their keep. On top of asking for rent money, he throws phony tantrums and feigns horror at everything from their wild parties to lights being left on. Foster even closes the family's account at Nobu, precisely as the boys get a $700 dinner bill. Such manufactured moments wouldn't be so bad if the brothers, both budding musicians, had personality. But they're so lacking a pulse, they make the stiffs on CSI look as hyper as Tom Cruise at Tiffany's. Princes? Thanks, but I'll take the frog.