The five young folk traveling across Texas in this remake of the 1974 cheapie horror classic start screaming in terror early and often. With good reason: First, a woman they've given a lift to blows her brains out in their van after declaring, "You're all going to die." Then a large, silent masked fellow known in these parts as Leatherface (Bryniarski) revs up his chainsaw and starts chasing them as fast as his lumbering gait will allow.
Did anyone really need a remake of the original? No. Is this new Massacre—which tells pretty much the same story of pointless murder and mayhem as the first one, only with more dopey dialogue and less backstory—an improvement? Nah again, but it is sharper-looking given that first-time director Marcus Nispel honed his chops making ads and music videos. Is there any reason for adults to go see it? Nope, unless they're comparison shopping for chainsaws. (R)