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"I struggled a lot internally with my fame, and coping with it has been very difficult," the 40-year-old singer tells Redbook in its December issue. "I was at the point where I would never look anyone in the eye. It was like living in prison."
After retreating to her chateau in Switzerland with her husband and son, she is ready to re-emerge. Today, in addition to being mom to her 6-year-old, coming out with a new perfume and working on a album due to be released in 2008, she says she's learning to look after herself.
"I'm not such a slave to pleasing everyone, which I think is a female tendency," she says. "I take more time for myself; that's a very big part of mental, emotional and physical health."
As for getting back into public life, she says, "I'm not naturally a spotlight person ... [But] I don't mind being the center of attention in a controlled, comfortable environment."
Asked what she imagines for her future, she jokes, "I'll probably be in the Canadian wilderness somewhere."
But on a serious note, she says music is an integral part of her life, and she wants "to write and record things that affect people in a positive way."
JOSH & FERGIE: ROCKED BY SCANDAL
Did he cheat with a stripper?
Married less than a year, the couple denies an Atlanta woman’s claims that she and Josh had a fling
Note that this week’s cover of PEOPLE may differ regionally
