Picks and Pans Review: Keeping Up Appearances
updated 01/14/2008 AT 01:00 AM EST
•originally published 01/14/2008 AT 01:00 AM EST
WEAR PINK LIPSTICK with gloss over it. You'll look like a flashlight is shining on you. Red or burgundy makes lip cracks show.
CUT SOME BANGS They cover up a multitude of sins.
NIX NUDE STOCKINGS They are the devil. Wear opaque hose or fishnets or go bare-legged.
UNCHAIN YOUR GLASSES A chain around your neck announces that you're so forgetful you can't remember where you put them.
SMELL LIKE GRAPEFRUIT Tests have shown that men perceive you as six years younger when you do. I like Jo Malone's Grapefruit Cologne.