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Heath Ledger: 1979 - 2008

Originally posted Thursday January 24, 2008 12:00 PM EST

Michelle Williams (with Ledger at the Oscars in '06) found him "attentive, loving and protective," says a colleague. Photo by: Lucy Nicholson / Reuters / Landov

Ledger's partying, which sources say was a factor in his breakup with Williams, was something the actor wrestled with in the months before his death. He seemed to stay away from alcohol while filming The Dark Knight in London and Chicago, ordering water instead. "I know he was doing his best," says a friend who was close to the couple. "He was trying to lead a healthy life. But it's harder for some people than others. Heath was a great guy. He did his best, but sometimes he went to excess."

Certainly Ledger's absorption in his characters, and the rigors of fame, seemed to wear him down. "Part of it is being an actor and getting so deep in your characters and trying to figure out your life," says Catherine Hardwicke, who directed Ledger in 2005's Lords of Dogtown. "I remember talking to him during the award stuff for Brokeback Mountain and he was like, 'I just want to move away to Holland and ride bicycles for a year – get away from all this craziness.' " Before filming The Dark Knight, Ledger spent time with a heroin addict to prepare for the role of a hopeless junkie in the 2006 film Candy; after wrapping the part of the Joker he jumped right into Terry Gilliam's period fantasy The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus and was due on its Vancouver set this week. A movie source who saw Ledger just a week before he died says, "He didn't look like himself. He looked like he was going through a hard time – it really looked like all the traveling and filming and the separation from Michelle and his child was really taking a toll." On Jan. 21 he was spotted near his Manhattan apartment and "looked like he wanted to be left alone," says an observer. "He didn't look tired or worn out but, maybe . . . uneasy."

Part of Ledger's agitation stemmed from his conflicted view of acting. Despite his obvious talents and dedication to roles, "he always said that he never wanted to be an actor, but he didn't know what else he was going to do," says a drinking buddy. "He was always going to quit acting and leave Hollywood. He didn't like it here. He wasn't really a happy guy. He was self-contained, a little moody. He had a lot of walls around him."