03/14/2008 at 04:00 PM EDT
's Steve-O, who is currently hospitalized, poured his heart out to friends in an e-mail Friday – saying that "I did a great deal of damage to my brain" with drugs and "now that they've all worn off, I'm facing the consequences."
The star (real name: Stephen Glover), known for outlandish stunts and reckless behavior, revealed in stark terms how he landed in the hospital on a 72-hour psychiatric hold – which he now says has been extended another 14 days.
"I suppose it is an ironic 'eye for an eye' situation that I am in, coping with the lowest 'lows' that I've ever experienced – as a form of punishment for the emotional distress that I have put my loved ones through with the self-destructive behavior that led me here," he wrote. (Read the complete e-mail here.
Confirming that he is "really in the looney bin," Steve-O writes that he
initially believed that "I am an extraordinarily 'tough' individual [and] I could handle it, and my legacy would be comprised of only that
which could be described as 'intense.'"
But he now realizes his behavior, specifically his drug abuse – which was documented in a shocking YouTube video
circulating around the Web – "was a bunch of manic bull---- that made little-to-no sense and, furthermore, was devastating to those who love me the most."
Closing his note with a maxim he attributes to himself ("Be real careful,
don't misbehave...That's all you gotta know to be saved..."), the reality
star encourages friends to share his e-mail widely, signing off, "I love you
Several friends have followed up with immediate concern. Rocker Tommy Lee wrote back to the mass e-mail chain, asking, "You ok dude!?!?!......"
Read Steve-O's Complete E-mail to Friends >