Steve-O 'Powerless Over Alcoholism'
03/20/2008 AT 01:05 PM EDT
The Jackass star writes "I know I was always powerless over alcoholism, because it had such a grip on Mom's adulthood and my childhood, and I never chose to fight it."
He outlines how during his family's frequent travels, "before Mom and Dad would find themselves in the embarrassing position of being caught by other passengers with a crying baby, I was fed alcohol."
Steve-O recounts his own mother's trouble as an alcoholic, and claims she once lied to the family about having lymph node cancer as an excuse for staying in bed drunk. "I can't believe I just called out my own dead Mom for what's surely the worst lie she ever told," he writes. "I also can't believe I ever picked up my first drink on my own after the way alcohol ruined her life. God, I miss my Mom."
Steve-O says he easily forgave his mother for any alcohol-induced bad behavior, and hopes that he can work on forgiving himself for his own shortcomings.
In an earlier blog post, he said that his own drug use did " a great deal of damage to my brain [and] now that they've all worn off, I'm facing the consequences."
Recounting some of his worst drug use in this post he writes, "I haven't mentioned nitrous oxide, the drug I 'fiend' for, by far, the most. I used to inhale this gas by cartridge, specifically, by the case (a case containing 600 cartridges).
Earlier this month, Steve-O landed in the hospital on a 72-hour psychiatric hold – which he said has been extended.
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