Picks and Pans Main: TV

updated 03/31/2008 at 01:00 AM EDT

originally published 03/31/2008 01:00AM

What's On This Week

MONDAY, MARCH 24

CSI: MIAMI
10 P.M. | CBS
A bride takes a bullet at the altar, bringing David Caruso to the scene, whispering coolly. Fresh, post-strike episode.

TUESDAY, MARCH 25

'TIL DEATH
9:30 P.M. | FOX
J.B. Smoove, the best thing on last season's Curb Your Enthusiasm, gets a recurring part as Brad Garrett's mentoree.

JERICHO
10 P.M. | CBS
So, fans, was it worth it, all them nuts? Season 2 ends with Jake (Skeet Ulrich) trying to break a colossal conspiracy.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26

PETER AND THE WOLF
CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS | PBS
Stark yet gorgeous, this stop-action animated tale won an Oscar. Nice tunes by some Prokofiev dude.

THURSDAY, MARCH 27

THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE
9 P.M. | NBC
The face-off ends with a charity event. And thank you, Ivanka—you were aces in the boardroom.

RANDY JACKSON PRESENTS: AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW
10 P.M. | MTV
The wrap-up for the dawg's fun reality contest. It's been renewed.

SATURDAY, MARCH 29

KIDS' CHOICE AWARDS
8 P.M. | NICKELODEON
Tween queen Miley Cyrus and the Naked Brothers Band sing. Adults on hand include Steve Carell, Heidi Klum and Hayden Panettiere.

The Hills
MTV, March 24, 10 p.m. ET

The Hills is back after a three-month hiatus, and I hope it's revealed finally that enemies Lauren and Heidi are actually alter egos—like a girls' Fight Club. (Although how could they have separate clothing lines?) Until then, the show might more accurately be described as Gossip Girl's reality sister. What really drives both series is the rankling tension of a failed friendship between two pretty young women, one who seems to have achieved a fundamental understanding of herself (Lauren) and another who moves in a stranger orbit (Heidi, whom I would diagnose as a repressed hysteric). Yes, The Hills often seems staged and the dialogue is slackly, sincerely banal—a ricin attack could be launched on L.A., and Lauren's friends would still ask, "Are we going out tonight?"—but there's something real about that sense of hurt and betrayal.

MORE ON THE HILLS, PAGE 40

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