Talking Trash with ... Kathy Griffin
updated 06/16/2008 AT 01:00 AM EDT
•originally published 06/16/2008 AT 01:00 AM EDT
ON THE REALITY GRIND: There's nothing Bravo won't ask me to do, and like an idiot, I agree to it all. Then I turn on The Hills and there's Heidi and Spencer saying, "This week on The Hills, we buy a bracelet." How do I get that gig?
ON HER LOVE LIFE: I'm a crappy girlfriend. I'm a barrel of monkeys in the sack, but I can't be there for your office party and I can't cook. I know it's a shock, but I'm not girly like that.
ON HER SIGNATURE DISH: It's called Cake Soup. You microwave a piece of chocolate cake, put it in a Cuisinart with a pint of vanilla Häagen-Dazs. Then you eat it and cry a little bit.
ON HOLLYWOOD PARENTS: If I could have David Archuleta's father and Dina Lohan as my parents, I'd be the biggest star right now. I would rule the world!