"I just feel as though it's become a situation where people have manifested this caricature of who I am, and they act as if there's no real person inside of it," Lohan, 22, admits to veteran supermodel Lauren Hutton, 65, in the February issue of Interview.
In a particularly candid moment, Lohan says, "[W]hat hurts me the most is that I work just as hard as any other actress around my age, like Scarlett Johansson, but I just don't get the opportunities that they get because people are so distracted by the mess that I created in my life. But that doesn't mean it's going to last forever."
Regarding her party-girl persona, Lohan says, "I mean, people really have come to believe – directors, producers, agents, whoever it may be – that I started in this because I wanted to be a celebrity. But that was never my intention."
Heath Ledger's AdviceHer original aim, she says, was to become a movie star – but in movies the way Hollywood used to make them, like Alfred Hitchcock classics (with Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman). But, laments Lohan, "people my age don't even know who those people are."
Her party-girl image problem, she says, is partly the fault of the industry itself.
"Heath Ledger once said something about this to me," Lohan recalls. "He said: 'It's build-you-up to knock-you-down, and that's all it is. And you just have to see if you can stand through it.'
"And it is like that, if you put yourself in this situation. I was young, so maybe I did … I always wanted to take the blame. I've always been apologetic for other people's faults."
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