Picks and Pans Review: The Last House on the Left

updated 03/23/2009 AT 01:00 AM EDT

originally published 03/23/2009 AT 01:00 AM EDT

Tony Goldwyn, Monica Potter, Sara Paxton | R |


If you ever wanted to know which items in your kitchen—including the garbage disposal and microwave oven—could effectively be used to battle a psycho killer, welcome to The Last House on the Left. A brutal remake of horrormeister Wes Craven's 1972 film of the same name, House tells what happens when three nasty baddies visit the lakeside vacation home of a couple (Goldwyn and Potter), not realizing that the vacationers are the parents of a teenage girl (Paxton) whom the trio's ringleader has just raped and left for dead. And did I mention that it's a dark and stormy night and the power is about to go out? House piles horror flick cliché upon cliché, fairly effectively if this happens to be your cup of crimson-tinged tea.

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