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Tori Spelling: I Love My Mother

04/13/2009 at 11:10 AM EDT

Tori Spelling: I Love My Mother
Tori Spelling
Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty
Feud? What feud?

Tori Spelling insists that the supposed rift between her and her mother, Candy Spelling, isn't nearly as bad as it's been made out to be.

"It's not like we're not talking, we just haven't talked," the actress, whose new book, Mommywood, hits bookstores Tuesday, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview. "I love my mother. I've always loved her [and] no doubt she loves me. There's no feud. We simply never meshed."

As for what happened between them, Tori, 35, simply says, "My mother is who she is. I've become who I am. At some point I realized those two just didn't go together."

Missing Her Grandkids

At the heart of the estrangement are Tori's two children with husband Dean McDermott, Liam, 2, and Stella, 10 months. Candy claims to have been cut off from her grandkids, insisting that Tori doesn't return her phone calls or emails and that she doesn't even know where her daughter lives – all points Tori steadfastly refutes.

"I, in no way, cut her off. She is welcome to make the effort if she wants to be present in their lives," says the 90210 actress, noting the last contact with her mother was an email Tori sent while pregnant with Stella. "She knows how to reach me, she knows where we live. If she would love to see her grandchildren, she should really make an effort to reach out and see them."

Last month, Candy told PEOPLE that she's never met her granddaughter and has no contact with Tori at all. "I've tried to talk to her but that doesn't work," said Candy. "She may not even know why she's angry."

Hasn't Read Book Yet

Candy, who is selling her $150 million Spelling Manor, also says she hopes to get to know her grandkids. "If I had any hope that I would have a relationship with my grandchildren, I would never sell this house."

Tori has yet to read her mother's memoir, Stories from Candyland, but plans to do so. "If she wants to put her truth out there as she sees it, she's completely entitled to do that. I know she has a letter to the grandchildren in it, and I think that's perfectly lovely if that makes her happy," says the actress. "And you know, I hope she follows through on that. I hope they do mean the world to her and she does reach out to them."

For more on Tori Spelling, pick up next week's PEOPLE, on sale Friday

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