Sandra Bullock: I'm Learning to Let My Husband Take Care of Me

By Brian Orloff

05/08/2009 at 01:20 PM EDT

Since marrying Jesse James in 2005, Sandra Bullock says she's had to loosen up and let him dote on her a little.

"I've had to learn a hard lesson in that I'm not allowed to open car doors anymore," Bullock, 44, tells Harper's Bazaar in its June issue. "It was so hard for me to allow someone to take care of me. It's not because I can't take care of myself. But Jesse was like, 'Just let me do this.' "

Another satisfying aspect of married life for the actress, who stars in the new movie The Propsal: Being a stepmom to James' three children, son Jesse Jr., 11, and daughters Chandler, 14, and Sunny, 5 – from two previous marriages.

"You don't have to give birth to someone to have a family," Bullock says. "I'm not going to spend two seconds of my life wishing I had something I don't … I just want people to admit that there's no one way to live your life."

Feeling comfortable with her family and career has allowed Bullock to actually experience a sense of independence she has never before felt. "I didn't have a teenage or early-'20s experience that was free and without worry," she says. "I missed the screw-everything, have-a-good-time phase."

Adds Bullock: "I was worried that if I didn't stay on track and work, work, work, I was never going to accomplish anything. Now I'm trying to have fun and have the freedom to do nothing."

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