Bobby Brown: Whitney Houston and I Corrupted Each Other
09/14/2009 AT 04:40 PM EDT
"I think we corrupted each other," Brown, 40, tells The Insider. "I don't think she hurt me or I hurt her. I just think we had a 14-year marriage that had its ups and downs and not many people understood it."
Brown says he used "an awful lot" of cocaine – "a powerful drug," he notes – starting after his marriage to Houston in 1992.
"I think I was bored," says Brown, who also opens up to VH1's Behind the Music on Sept. 24. "I had just gotten married and things weren't right. Unfortunately, I turned to alcohol and drugs."
Brown still feels the sting of their failed marriage, saying the first time her met her at the Soul Train Music Awards is "one of the things I try to forget."