09/14/2009 AT 04:40 PM EDT
As Whitney Houston bares her past troubles
to Oprah Winfrey
, ex-husband Bobby Brown adds his side of their tragic story, saying both were to blame for their tumultuous relationship.
"I think we corrupted each other," Brown, 40, tells The Insider.
"I don't think she hurt me or I hurt her. I just think we had a 14-year marriage that had its ups and downs and not many people understood it."
Brown says he used "an awful lot" of cocaine – "a powerful drug," he notes – starting after his marriage to Houston in 1992.
"I think I was bored," says Brown, who also opens up to VH1's Behind the Music
on Sept. 24. "I had just gotten married and things weren't right. Unfortunately, I turned to alcohol and drugs."
Brown still feels the sting of their failed marriage
, saying the first time her met her at the Soul Train Music Awards is "one of the things I try to forget."