Ryan Jenkins and Jasmine Fiore
Splash News Online, Ethan Miller/Getty
10/05/2009 AT 07:40 PM EDT
Detectives searching reality show contestant Ryan Jenkins's hard drive in their investigation of his wife's murder say they have found a will Jenkins wrote three days before his suicide
Buena Park police investigators say they consider the will a "suicide note" because it provides insight into what Jenkins was thinking as he sat in a rundown motel in British Columbia in late August, the subject of an international manhunt after he was named a suspect in Jasmine Fiore's murder.
In the letter, the Megan Wants a Millionaire
star blames Fiore for his predicament, saying she was beautiful, he loved her, and she made him jealous by sleeping with former boyfriends.
"It was clearly defined that Mr. Jenkins was jealous of multiple side relationships that she had," Buena Park Police Sgt. William Kohanek tells PEOPLE.
Jenkins doesn't mention in the one-and-a-half-page letter Fiore's death
, the manner in which she died, or that he was a suspect in her death – very incriminating omissions, Kohanek says.
"The lack of acknowledging that he'd just lost his wife speaks volumes," Kohanek says.
In the will, which was not printed out, Jenkins leaves money and possessions to family members, and apologizes to them for the negative media attention the situation had brought them, Kohanek says. He says investigators found the will over the weekend, on a laptop computer that was found in Jenkins' motel room Aug. 23, after he hanged himself.