Kate Gosselin Swears Off Dating
10/28/2009 AT 10:00 AM EDT
"I'm not thinking about it, but the thought has crossed my mind at some point [that] it's going to be scrutinized," Gosselin, 34, tells Ellen DeGeneres on an episode of her talk show set to air Wednesday. "Let's not talk about it."
DeGeneres agrees: "Exactly, and some guy is going to have that same concern." Gosselin says she tries to live her life surrounded by cameras – and "the 18 cars that follow me around" – by thinking of her eight children.
"I just know that, on TV or off TV, I've been very much targeted and torn apart," she says. "I'm telling you [from] the root of my heart everything about me: I am a mother first. I will always be a mother and I would die for my kids if need be ... My focus is them. It's not the paparazzi. My focus is not what trip I can go on or what shows I can do as a result of this thing. This is my job. This is my paycheck and so this is what I do."
But the kids, Gosselin says, are getting used to the idea of Kate minus Jon – and a wedding ring.
"At some point, I talked to the kids it came up very naturally and I said I'm not going to be wearing this ring very much longer," she says. "They said, 'Oh, why?' I said, 'Because I'm not going to be married to Daddy anymore,' which, of course, hearing that I don't think was fun for them."