The Vampire Awards
updated 11/30/2009 AT 01:00 AM EST
•originally published 11/30/2009 AT 01:00 AM EST
"I accept this award on behalf of RPattz even though he thirsts for blood and I have always thirsted for numbers, ah ah ah."
"It's a great honor to accept this award for best lips. I would like to thank my mother and father for endowing me with good facial features, and my ChapStick!"
JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER
"I'd like to accept this award on behalf of makeup artists everywhere."
"I'd like to thank those whom I have dazzled. I've lit a fire with a look. I'm pretty sure I have fertilized an egg with a stare. And my biggest achievement to date is winning an award by glamouring."
"I'm eternally grateful for this award. The secret to my success as a sexy dad is to never wear socks with sandals."
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES'
PAUL WESLEY AND IAN SOMERHALDER
"I'm just glad Ian finally got back into PEOPLE's Sexiest Men issue. Now we can really get back to work and focus."
"I have been campaigning to get back on PEOPLE's Sexiest Men list since my first appearance in 2002. I even died on Lost thinking that would make an impression, but no luck. It turns out the key was to be cast opposite a really handsome actor. Paul, I clearly owe it all to you."
"I am very proud to be PEOPLE's most smoldering vampire, thank you very much. If I am ever deserted on an island, I will be able to start a fire without a magnifying glass and a leaf. At night of course, because I wouldn't be able to use the sun in the first place ... duh."
SEXIEST BAD BOY
"Ever since I was a kid, my mom would scold me for being a bad boy. 'Don't fight with the other kids, don't talk back to your elders, be nice to all the girls.' So here I am actually getting an award for being a bad boy. Thank you, PEOPLE magazine. I can't wait to tell my mom."