They all laughed When you took the stage; Too old, too drab—And at your age! A gray-haired, frumpy, spinster Scot. And not remotely close to hot.
But then you sang And cast a spell. And even Simon Wished you well. Middle-, low- and even highbrows Stopped making cracks About your eyebrows.
Then we found out This and that: About your childhood And your precious cat. How local louts came round to dis you; Did no one really try to kiss you?
But now's your Moment in the sun; So, enjoy the ride And have some fun. Though "experts" think you look bizarre, We love you just the way you are.
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