"He doesn't deserve this award," Damon's pal Jimmy Kimmel teasingly told PEOPLE. "I don't know who they weren't able to get, but I'd go with Tom Selleck before I'd go with Matt Damon."
Sarah Silverman, who joked that she gave Damon, 39, "his first really big break" with their crudely funny 2008 viral video hit, said she was going to have a hard time roasting him.
"The worst thing I could say is, you know, Matt Damon is like, maybe he's a perfectionist," she told the audience, which included Don Cheadle, former President Bill Clinton and Damon's Invictus director Clint Eastwood. "And his breath is like, Jesus! And his hair plugs are really obvious. Besides that, there's like nothing. So sorry, roast not possible!"
Damon also took some barbs from his best friend Ben Affleck – and Affleck's wife, Jennifer Garner.
"Ben is half of one of the greatest love stories ever told. Not with me," Garner said. "The actual prototype for the great Hollywood Bromance . . . Here's proof that love is alive and well in Hollywood. At least for my darling husband and my husband's darling husband."
Cracked Affleck: "Matt always said to me, 'Ben, there are two things that are more important to me than anything else in this world.' Folks: fame, money. You did it, Matty! You got there!"
A good-natured Damon took it all in stride.
"I can honestly say that there's a good chance that next year Ben will be here, presenting this award to someone else," he told the audience as he accepted his award. "There's a lot of buzz about Vanessa Hudgens."