04/05/2010 at 01:00 AM EDT
>• In a raw memoir, the 44-year-old Diff'rent Strokes star details the abuse and drugs that sidelined him after the series ended: "I'm blessed I survived."
• DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KILL WILLIS?
No. When I was going through my struggles I was trying to kill myself. I embrace Willis. He made me who I am, so I can't be mad at him, you know?
STILL HEAR "WATCHU TALKIN' ABOUT WILLIS"?
On a regular basis. A teacher told me that a student who's, like, 10 said it to her-he has no idea about the show, but he knows the catchphrase.
ARE CHILD STARS CURSED?
I would never blame Hollywood. Hollywood did not throw me away. I threw Hollywood away. The positive is that I'm 17 years sober.
HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN COREY HAIM DIED?
He was a good friend. I hope he's in a better place.