The-Dream: Christina Milian and I 'Failed' at Marriage

07/16/2010 at 12:30 PM EDT

The-Dream: Christina Milian and I 'Failed' at Marriage
Christina Milian and The-Dream
Bill Davila/Startraks
The-Dream admits his marriage to Christina Milian isn't just on the rocks, it's over – and they "failed."

"Even though we were trying to overcome personal things between us, I was just simply scared and embarrassed to let everyone know we WERE FAILING and HAVE NOW FAILED!" the rapper-producer, 32, writes on his Web site.

"If there's anyone to blame," he writes, "please blame me and me alone for not being upfront!"

After photos surfaced of him with his female assistant on a Caribbean vacation, Milian, 28, mom to their 5-month-old daughter Violet, Tweeted: "Whatever you think, believe it."

Though he says he would "love to tell the truth as to why" the couple's 10-month marriage wasn't successful, "that is between me and Christina. It's easy to say that it's because of another woman or a new relationship but truthfully, IT'S NOT," he writes.

Recalling the troubles in the relationship, The-Dream (real name: Terius Nash) says he cried for months, prayed and even "tried to take my own life at a point because of the failure that was looming."

Still, as he was reminded by his mother, "I am not Superman and its okay to lose sometimes," he says, before signing off with, "Everything will be fine!"

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