"I pray that they don't get her out [of rehab] early, and that maybe the 90 days will do something," Rivers, 77, told PEOPLE a few days ago. (Lohan was released on Tuesday, after more than three weeks.) "Get her well, you idiots. ... There's really nothing funny."
Rivers also plans to go easy on Lohan. "I'll be nice – until she does the first insane thing, which will probably be 20 minutes after she's out. But you can hope that it won't be," she says.
And besides, there's a new comedic target. Rivers, who has a new E! series Fashion Police debuting Sept. 10, with an Emmy's special airing Monday, would love to give a makeover to Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi.
Rivers wants to make the Jersey Shore star "40 pounds lighter, wash off all that horrible Jersey makeup and give her something age-appropriate – just something classic."
What does she suggest?
"Give her to Ralph Lauren, give her to Calvin Klein, give her to Michael Kors," Rivers says, calling Snooki "the kind of people you prayed your children wouldn’t turn into. They're great fun to watch, but you don’t want to sit down next to them."