Alex McCord's Real Housewives of DC Blog: Enjoy the Ride, Ladies
08/06/2010 AT 01:00 AM EDT
My opening line on New York City series goes like this: "To a certain group of , status is everything." But in D.C., we learned, "the currency is proximity to power." Both are sweeping statements but both scratch the soft white underbelly of what everyone who is honest thinks, at some point, of either city. So far, most of the D.C. Housewives seem to be sitting in the balcony – about as close to power as Sarah Palin's ex-stylist's manicurist.
The closest two seem to be Cat Ommanney, whose husband has a security-clearance-level job, though for how much longer once this series airs, we'll see, and Mary Amons, who was born there and grew up socializing with the families of political icons. She and I have a few things in common, which is one of the reasons I wanted to blog about the show. I was born in D.C., spent my first couple of years in McLean, Va., and whether there or back in Highland Park, my dad played poker the guys everyone knows, who would never in a billion years be on a reality show other than C-SPAN. My father was in D.C. due in part to members of the Bush family – yes, they ruled school even in the '70s. (Mary and I also share the same annoying strings for intro music. Sorry, darling.) Next season (if there is one), she'll learn not to say the word "connections" and to know that by name-dropping her neighbors, she has outed them, since her address will be all over the Internet by next week. I did enjoy watching her drunkenly try to integrate Washington's hair salons, and her husband Rich trying on pants. The only place Simon would wear those pink pants is to a dinner with someone he wanted to annoy. They call them "f--- you" pants for a reason, and every man should have a pair.
Having heard forever about what pleasant the Bushes all were, I understood where Cat was attempting to go at Stacie's party. I remember having a heated argument with my mother in 2000 about not allowing your rosy memories of someone's family to color the way you vote. You can be the nicest guy in the world at parties, which might get you elected, but it doesn't make you a good leader. Cat lost me when, in her husky Wiltshire voice, she proceeded to brag about her husband and show cell phone photos of Vice President Biden. Ugh. By going so far as to tell that your husband's photos elected a president, you've shown the world that you are insecure and need to jockey for position. Badly played, Cat, though not the worst offender.
Probably I'd like Stacie off camera, but on camera she bores me. Kudos to her for being lovely, articulate and a hard worker, but she showed her naïvete when she defended someone she doesn't know. Don't ever do that; you'll get burned.
I'd love to know what Lynda's primary bookings are for her models – she said her top clientele are dignitaries and ambassadors. May I raise my hand and ask why they need models? I did snicker at the goat rodeo comment, but so far, she seems very two-faced regarding Michaele. If you don't like her, own it.
Speaking of Michaele ... do we really have to? Okay, we saw her throwing clothes on the bed "reminiscent of Coco Chanel" – or perhaps an '80s prom – then moving on to Pretty Woman. That must have been before Richard Gere picked her up. Apparently, she "did an event" for Obama for Rock the Vote; does that mean she hosted it? Not sure, and neither were the stylists. I hope they got paid, because apparently Lynda didn't. Michaele seems to be the personification of that talking Barbie that said, math class is tough, and was yanked off shelves in the '90s. Or possibly a pathological liar, like Jon Lovitz's character on Saturday Night Live. Yeah, that's the ticket. She should not have been repaid for allegedly crashing every party in town, including the White House, by being kept on this show. I've had horrified calls from my mother twice post-Housewives – once about LuAnn throwing her title around, and again post Dinner-gate about the Salahis, hoping that they weren't going to be a part of the show.
Overall, I shuffled between being bored and turned off while watching The Real Housewives of D.C. I really wish we could have political candidates on the show, but they wouldn't do it, plus there are FCC rules about that. Lobbyists wouldn't because they'd never work again. So, we are left with four nice girls and a craven hair flipper, all of whom have that first season nervousness in front of the camera. Here's hoping it gets better! I'll be watching and reporting right here. --Alex McCord
For more about The Real Housewives of D.C. and New York City, visit Bravotv.com.
For more on Alex, including her book, Little Kids, Big City, visit her Web Site at mccordvankempen.com
Tell us: What did you think of the premiere of The Real Housewives of D.C.?