Ali's Bachelorette Blog: All About My Search for Love

Ali's Bachelorette Blog: All About My Search for Love
Ali Fedotowsky
Bob D'Amico/ABC

updated 08/03/2010 at 01:00 AM EDT

originally published 08/03/2010 01:00AM

Each week, Ali Fedotowsky has shared her thoughts about her search for love on The Bachelorette. After getting heartbreaking news in Tahiti and then handing out roses to Roberto and Chris two weeks ago, Ali made her big decision on Monday's episode. In her final blog post, Ali reflects on her journey, Chris, Roberto and her future. Warning: Spoilers ahead!

I want to start off by saying thank you. This whole experience has been unbelievable and I am so grateful for all the support I have received from all of you. Now that the show has finished, I promise to keep in touch with all of you on my Facebook and Twitter pages. I actually can't wait to respond to everyone! It's fun sharing this wonderful experience with others. :)

Honestly, all week I have been thinking about what I should write in this blog. How could I possibly put into words how I was feeling during this episode?! After much thought, I decided to call on the one person I knew could help me – Roberto. When I asked him, he said, "Start from the beginning. Tell our love story." So that's exactly what I am going to do! :) Instead of just giving you my thoughts on the finale, I am going to start at the beginning. I won't be able to share everything, but I just want to share little things that made me fall in love with him along the way. But before I do that, let me say a few last things about another wonderful man – Chris.

Chris is one of the most wonderful men I have ever known. He handles himself in such a way that you can't help but be drawn to him. My family absolutely loved him, and they really loved that he was from Massachusetts. In fact, they pretty much loved everything about Chris! We all agreed that he is super fun and a guy that would make a great life partner, but in the end, I had to say goodbye to Chris. As hard at it was, I knew it was the right thing to do. My heart was with Roberto and I knew nothing could change that. I know Chris will find an incredible woman to share his life with. I wish him all the happiness in the world!



I want to take a moment to say that I do not discount any of the other relationships I had along the way. I needed to go through this experience and explore each relationship to its fullest to really figure out what guy was right for me. I value and cherish each relationship that I had along the way and cannot thank all of the guys enough for being there for me. I had special moments with each guy throughout this journey that you may have not seen; however, now is the time for me to tell you about those moments with Roberto. :)

Now I finally have my chance to tell my love story with Roberto. Yay! The very first night that he stepped out of the limo, I felt this unbelievable connection. When I sat down with my producer Cassie to decide who I wanted to give the first impression rose to, I told her that I had to give it to Roberto because I felt in my heart that he was the one for me. It is so funny to think back to that night now and to remember how strong our connection was. I couldn't explain it at the time, but now I know it couldn't have been anything other than love at first sight. Chris's dad actually told me that when his wife first saw him she said, "That is the man I am going to marry." I had a similar experience with Roberto. Such a blessing!

As you remember, I did not have a date with Roberto the first week. I wanted to SO badly, but I knew that I was going to keep Roberto around for a long time; therefore, I knew that I could wait. I'm so glad I was patient because our first date the following week was perfect.

After the rose ceremonies, I would often wait in the hallway area for my ride home. One time, I fell asleep for a moment on the steps while waiting, and Roberto came down to kiss me on the forehead and say goodnight before I was brought back home. I'll never forget that. Also, every time I saw Roberto he told me a Spanish word of the day. Some of the words were: incredible, adventure, smile, strength, adorable, dedicated and love. I will leave it to Roberto to translate. I'm still learning! Actually, since the show finished, I went out and bought Rosetta Stone so I can learn Spanish. Spanish is a huge part of Roberto's life so it is really important to me that learn to speak it. ;) Check in with me in six months and ask me how I'm doing!

Lion King was another one of those unforgettable experiences for us. I truly believe that I could not have done that with any of the other guys. Roberto's calm confidence helped me get through it.

You didn't get to see much of us in Iceland. Our time at the Blue Lagoon was unbelievably romantic. I saved a special cave within the Lagoon for our one-on-one time, and things certainly got steamy in there!

Our relationship continued to grow in Turkey and Portugal. I especially remember not wanting to leave him after our date in Lisbon. Dancing in the street with Roberto seems like something you only see in the movies; however, that is life for us! Since the show has ended, we have had secret rendezvous together. During those visits, Roberto will spin me around in the living room and just start dancing with me. He is every bit as romantic at home as he was in Lisbon. I cherish that about him.

I was by far the most nervous visiting Roberto's family, just because I really wanted to make a good impression. Roberto's parents have such a lovely marriage. We will truly be lucky if our relationship is as successful as theirs. You didn't see much of his brother Pete, his brother's fiancée Christen, and his sitter Olga; however, they are all just as sweet and caring as Roberto. I am really lucky that I get to be a part of his family. They are wonderful!

Now onto Tahiti! During dinner in Le Taha'a, Roberto and I really wanted to be close to each other. I actually have a picture of us kissing while the audio crew was putting our microphones on us. I'll have to post it to my Facebook Fan Page sometime so you can see it. It's so cute! We really couldn't keep our hands off each other! As I noted in my blog two weeks ago, Roberto and I had some funny experiences during our overnight date. Besides that, we stayed up all night talking. I remember not wanting the night to end. I just kept my iPod on repeat and listened to some of my favorite love songs with him all night. One song that I loved in particular was Halo by Beyonce. I remember listening to that song while watching him sleep and thinking, "I have finally found my angel."

My family absolutely adores Roberto. I love that when my dad gave him permission to propose to me he said, "I don't see a problem with that." Ha ha ha. That is classic Daddy Fedotowsky. He cracks me up. That was his way of trying to hide his excitement. My mom told me that during Roberto's visit she was watching him talk to my sister and brother outside and it brought her to tears because she felt in her heart that she was looking at her future son-in-law. A mother’s intuition is never wrong. :) I actually think we should do a poll after watching the finale. Instead of asking, "Who will Ali choose?" let's ask, "Whose family is better at salsa? Ali's family or Roberto's family?" Tough choice I know. Ha ha.

I was positive my feelings for Roberto were unbreakable once we had our final date. It was perfect. We experienced some thrills (jet skiing and sting rays) and a lot of romance (how amazing with the rain?!?!). The reason I didn't tell Roberto that I loved him back at the end of our date is because I hadn't said goodbye to Chris yet, and I felt it wasn't right for me to tell Roberto I loved him when I couldn't give him my whole heart yet. However, in time, I was able to tell him exactly how I felt. His proposal to me is the most beautiful thing I could possibly imagine. I actually remember saying to a friend that if I was proposed to on the show it would just be a temporary proposal, and that I would want the guy to propose again out in the "real world." Wow, do I feel differently now. Roberto's proposal couldn't have been more real or special. I wouldn't ever want anything other than exactly how he asked me. Every word he said came from his heart, and I feel so blessed that he said those words to me. After Roberto and I saw the proposal for the first time at the After the Final Rose taping, we went home and watched it about 10 more times that night. After re-watching it so many times, we promised each other that whenever we get in a fight, we are going to pop the finale in the DVD player and remember that moment. So glad we have that on film. :)

Read all about Ali's Neil Lane diamond engagement ring!

And finally, I realize that many of you are skeptical of relationships that come out of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette experience, and I am not asking you to feel any different about what I have found. But what I do want to say is this: I have found a love that is stronger than I ever thought was possible. Since the show finished filming, I have fallen even more in love with Roberto. Will we last the test of time? I cannot answer that for you. All I can say is that we will work on our relationship every day, and no matter what we do in our lives, we will always make our relationship our first priority. Roberto is the strongest man I have ever known, and I want spend every day of my life striving to be the best woman I can be for him. I have faith in our relationship. I love him. I cherish him. I am so very thankful to have found him.

Until ... the wedding! ;)

xo, --Ali Fedotowsky

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