NYC Housewife Jill Zarin: 'I'm Not a Mean Girl!'

06/10/2010 at 01:00 AM EDT

NYC Housewife Jill Zarin: 'I'm Not a Mean Girl!'
Giovanni Rufino/Bravo; Ali Paige Goldstein/Bravo
Jill Zarin was at the center of all the drama on the Real Housewives of New York City this season. She had a falling out with best friend Bethenny Frankel – and had a spat with castmate Alex McCord. She also showed up in the eleventh hour – and unannounced – at a trip celebrating pal Ramona Singer's wedding vow renewal in the Virgin Islands, then was immediately asked to leave. Days before part one of the show's sure-to-be dramatic reunion special (which airs Thursday at 9 p.m. EST), the Secrets of a Jewish Mother author opened up about her regrets this season, what exactly happened with Kelly Bensimon in the Virgin Islands and whether or not she'd consider returning for a fourth season. –Brian Orloff and Alison Schwartz

Do you have any regrets from this season?
Yeah, but it doesn’t matter. I think anybody living a normal, average life is going to have regrets. But I try to look forward and be a better person and a better friend. I wake up everyday saying, "What can I do better today?"

What about surprising the ladies in the Virgin Islands? Would you do that again?
If I could take it back I would. My intentions were honestly good. I was going there to make peace. I couldn’t have anticipated the Kelly situation. And had it gone the way I planned, Kelly would have been at the house. And even if some of the girls didn’t want me there, I would have been accepted by Kelly and I hopefully would have been able to pave my way to make peace with the some of the other girls that I was having problems with.

What's your take on what happened there with Kelly?
I wasn’t there but I spoke to Kelly on the phone and she was definitely having a hard time. She felt that the girls were fighting with her and picking on her. She’s not a fighter. She can't express herself in that negative way; she just can’t defend herself.



Do you really think they were bullying her?
You know, I wasn’t there but I can tell you that what I saw on TV looks like four against one. It’s bad. It was bad because they did it to me when I got there. As a firsthand witness, when I walked in and I felt that energy of hate on me, and that only lasted about 10 minutes, if Kelly was experiencing that for four days, systematic bullying, no matter what you call it, is not okay.

What's the status of your relationship with Bethenny and Alex right now?
You have to watch what happens on the reunion.

(Watch a preview clip below)


Was it cathartic to film the reunion? Painful?
Very stressful. Very painful. It was like having a bad root canal.

Are you glad Jennifer Gilbert and Sonja Morgan joined the show?I really like Jennifer Gilbert a lot. She's a very intelligent mom, successful, fun, very funny, has a snarky sense of humor, and I really enjoyed filming with her. Unfortunately, because there was so much stuff going on, she really didn’t make the cut. There were a lot of scenes that I filmed with her that never made the air.

Do you think you would do this show again?
They haven't asked me back, so I don’t think I have to worry about that yet.

Are there any lingering misconceptions about you that you want to clear up?
People who know me know that it all comes from a place of good. I'm not a bad person. I'm not a mean girl. Just because someone says it, or just because it's written, doesn't make it true. I've learned a lot from the show and watching myself and not seeing things at the time the way they were. I've become a better listener and will try not holding a grudge. That I can do. That I can change. But I can't change who I am.

Tell us: Do you think Jill can change? Are you looking forward to the reunion show?

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