This was, hands-down, the funniest episode of the season. Some of it … - like Bethenny’s one-liners -… were funny on purpose. And some of it … - like every single thing LuAnn did -… was unintentionally hilarious. Either way, I was laughing the whole time.
First, the things that weren’t funny on purpose -- LuAnn’s singing career and LuAnn’s creepy date. I’m going to come right out and say it: LuAnn CANNOT sing. Like not at all.
I cringed when Kim Zolciak from Atlanta sang “Tardy for the Party,” but mad props to Kandi Burruss for making it actually sound good. The producer that LuAnn is working with must be deaf. (I looked that guy up online and he’s a big ball of crap; LuAnn is about the most famous person he’s ever worked with.)
Not only can LuAnn not sing a single note, the song is just terrible. Did she write it by reading lines out of her book? Remind me to do that with Skinny Italian. “1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil… ” Just kidding!
Then we got to watch LuAnn go on a date with a guy who looks like the ugly love child of Carson Kressley from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and that guy from Notting Hill. It was hilariously awkward, from his huge, fishy puckers to their cheesy conversation. I think LuAnn is a beautiful woman. She must be able to do better than this guy!
The rest of the episode took place in the Virgin Islands for Ramona’s wedding vow renewal/bachelorette party. And yes, there was fighting, name-calling and drunkenness -- all of which added up to pure comedy. Ramona can’t swim, so she needed to use a pool noodle in the ocean. Sonja, on vacation on a boat in St. John’s, refused to get her hair wet. Ramona channeled Elaine from Seinfeld, doing some jerky dance on the dock and singing “Turtle Time.” And Bethenny was back!
Even though Bethenny was sad the first part of their vacation because she’d just buried her father, the humor that made her a fan favorite was back in full force. She had the funniest lines of the year when she said how bad she wished she could drink but couldn’t because she was pregnant. Kelly had just attacked her, calling her “vindictive, malicious, cunning, deceitful” and -- my favorite -- a “hobag.”
Everyone left to party on the Hooters yacht (for real!) and Bethenny was desperate for a drink. She said she wanted to “suck the buzz out of Ramona’s veins” and “to vampire her ass.” Other than that, the scenery was spectacular, and the women looked smoking hot in their bikinis. Now if only they’d stayed off the dancefloor!
Baci, Teresa Giudice
For more on Teresa's cookbook, including excerpts and recipes, visit teresagiudice.comTeresa Giudice; Giovanni Rufino/Bravo; Ali Paige Goldstein/Bravo