When you watch that awkward make-up talk
she has with former BFF Heidi Montag
, you're only seeing half the story, The Hills
star Lauren Conrad
In fact, producers of the show kept pushing her to meet up with her frenemy throughout the fifth season -- Conrad's last.
"What they didn't get is that I didn't want to fight with her anymore," Conrad says in the July issue of Cosmopolitan
. "It's hard to look at somebody who used to be your best friend and say, 'We can't be friends. Too much has happened.' I'm trying to move on, but they won't let me. And when someone keeps pushing you into the same position well … you get upset."
Now 23 years old, Conrad says she's ready to move on from having her life played out in front of the cameras, especially since she's now sharing that suddenly no-frills life with actor Kyle Howard
"I feel sexiest with him when I'm in sweatpants and no make-up," she says.
And in case you're afraid she might miss the attention, think again.
"I've always had another season to look forward to, but now life is a little more unplanned," she says. "It's really exciting." --Michael Y. Park