South Pole Dancers Sheree put her stripper moves (and surprisingly muscular arms) to the test, sliding down a pole at an adult sleepover. But she wasn't the only housewife letting loose. A liquored up Lisa (whose "sex kitten" came out after a couple of drinks) was dragged into the scene and given booty-shaking lessons by stripper-teacher Torwa "Firestarter," who brought her own personal pole from home for the party: "This is the Stripperlicious pole. I take it with me every day from my house." And Sheree also showed her math skills by mapping out the equation: "Women plus alcohol plus a pole equals a great time."
The Mad Hatter One housewife whose math skills weren't quite up to par was NeNe, who made a pathetic attempt to help her 9-year-old son Brentt figure out fractions. But it was a lost cause. Her husband Gregg stepped in and illustrated the difference between 2/3 and 1/2 in a language he thought she'd understand (pizza slices), but to no avail.
But hanging out with DeShawn started rubbing on the nefarious NeNe, who was actually up to some good this week. Having survived an abusive relationship in the past, she set out to create a foundation to help women who are victims of domestic abuse. "I just know how I felt when I was in that situation, like I couldn't get out, couldn't leave," she said. "Where was I gonna get the money from? And a lot of women think that way."
Her goal was much more modest than DeShawn's $1 million fundraiser. The plan was to raise $20,000, and she called a bunch of girlfriends over to help plan the inaugural "Battered But Not Broken Brunch" for her foundation, which she named Twisted Hearts. The evening came complete with big, floppy derby-style hats, which all the ladies -- and even Gregg -- enjoyed modeling. "It's good to see her find something positive to focus her energy on," DeShawn said.
But of course, it couldn't all be positive for NeNe. After drinking a little too much wine at DeShawn's birthday party, NeNe lashed out at Sheree and former BFF Kim. Her Sheree comments were nothing new, but NeNe actually improvised an impromptu musical performance about Kim's misguided attempts at a country music career. Watch a clip.
And if that weren't enough, she continued to drunkenly rant about Kim: "The way Kim knows Dallas Austin is through Big Poppa," she slurred. "If you have the money and you have the right connections, you can get a lot of things you want to get. And you really don't have to be that talented." DeShawn dubs it one of her best birthdays ever, but someone (Lisa, through process of elimination) tells Sheree all about NeNe's song.
Country Stardom Kim's performance in the studio and with voice coach Jan Smith (who's worked with Whitney Houston, Celine Dion and Usher in the past) makes one wonder whether NeNe was right on target. The husky-voiced "29-year-old" (who says she's been smoking for 15 years -- you do the math), quickly admitted that she wasn't very knowledgeable about the music industry. But more importantly, she didn't appear to be very knowledgeable about music in general: she couldn't match pitch, her range was very limited, and she seemed uninterested in learning anything. "Jan is nitpicking me and she's telling me I don't know the basics of music," Kim said. "I don't need to. I'm a singer."
Wig Squeezing Later, Kim (in her best milkmaid costume) and Sheree cemented their friendship by making a Botox trip together. While Sheree didn't participate because she already had near-perfect skin ("I have heard it from the pro. I don't need Botox," she said), Kim got a few injections in her forehead to help smooth out the lines in her aging face.
After the Botox party, Kim and Sheree headed to a lingerie boutique to meet up with Lisa, DeShawn and NeNe. But first, Sheree finally broke her silence and told Kim about NeNe's malicious musical number. Kim was furious, and there was tension in the air when NeNe showed up at the boutique. Kim happily greeted DeShawn but completely ignored a stunned NeNe. "I'm not exactly sure where the tension is coming from," she said. And then, in the evening's best line: "Sheree -- I'm sure she manipulated Kim to the core. And poor little Kim, wig squeezing her brain, she went for it."
Kim and Sheree then decided to air their woes over guacamole at Rosa Mexicana, but Kim was grossed out by the green goop, which was prepared at the table and "served in a rock." When Dallas Austin showed up, Kim shared some of the lessons she learned from Jan Smith, who had asked her, "What is two plus two? I said four," Kim said. "How do you spell cat? I said 'K-A-T.'"
The Last Straw? After lunch Sheree and Kim went their separate ways, but both started receiving phone calls from friends saying that NeNe was talking trash about them all over Atlanta. Ever the voice of reason, Kim decided she was "gonna text her to tell her to stay the hell out of my life." The inflammatory text message could start an all-out war between the two divas, as Kim tells NeNe that she has no class and calls her "a low budget b----." Will these two finally come to blows? -- Chris WillardWilford Harewood/Bravo