The Hills Recap: Who Is the Bigger Doormat–Audrina or Heidi?

10/14/2008 AT 12:00 AM EDT



Life is full of tough choices even if you are one of the rich, famous and over-indulged Hills . Audrina can’t get off the unhealthy Justin-Bobby train even when a hot Aussie offers her a ride (and haute Korean BBQ). Spencer finally delivered the fiance-or-family ultimatum to Heidi. And everyone else is caught up in their decision-making process.

Boy Toy: Audrina spent all weekend hanging with Aussie import Corey (from last Halloween), but pretty much admitted to Lauren that she was hoping her dating would send Justin-Bobby crawling back to her. After figuring it probably won’t make him jealous because “he’s a weird one,” she accepted another dinner date with Corey. He tried to pry a little into her recent dating history, but didn’t get far, either because she is so confused about what Justin-Bobby is to her that she can’t articulate it or he was as distracted by the giant cantaloupes trying to escape from her top as we were and didn’t care who she was sleeping with as long as it was him that night. Which, judging by the morning walk up to the big house to whip up some cereal together, was a dream fulfilled. The Cabo Conundrum: In typical Aud fashion, she jumped in head first without looking and nonchalantly invited Corey to Cabo for Brody’s birthday. LC’s seconded that emotion as she prefered the boy from Oz to the poorest man’s Johnny Depp. While at a Malibu pool party, mere feet from the floating, arms-entangled couple in question, she confided to Whitney: “Walking in on them in the kitchen might have been the cutest thing ever. She’s so happy around him. He’s nice, but he’s still got enough edge for her. He wants to be with her.” Whitney theorized: “She needs someone who appreciates her for who she is.” LC agreed but worried: “That’s what she needs, but I don’t know if that’s what she wants.”

Frankie and Doug rolled up and immediately started worrying about how Cabo was going to go down as Brody had invited JB. He was also expected in the 'Bu that day. LC pleaded with Frankie to convince JB out of showing up to give Corey a chance with her. Frankie obviously felt guilty and wound up leaving the least convincing excuse message possibly in the history of voicemail excuses. He told Aud about the double-invite and asked what was happening with JB. She explained: “I told him to stop wasting my time. If you want to be with me, be with me and if you don’t, fine but stop f------ with my head. This has gone on for four years now. I found someone who treats me good.” (Apparently, she did not find a grammar corrector.) Aud and LC and a dog (WTF? She has a dog? Where did he come from?) hiked Runyon and contemplated Cory vs. Justin some more. “I think Justin knows about Cory. He’s been calling, wanting to hang out and saying he misses me.”



Swimming Tool: Apparently, inundating Aud with calls worked for JB as he was invited over to the house and things got steamier than ever before on the series. The scene also encompassed all the things that irk us about this pairing. One, JB was wearing a leather jacket in the middle of summer. Two, he pushed her in the pool and would only get in with her if she took off her top. Three, she, of course, obliged the request to strip. (Oh wait, that’s a reason we think she’s weak and setting a bad example for the youngsters obsessed with the show. Not a reason we roll our eyes at him.) In the pool, she kissed him and asked about Cabo and he evil laughed and “prewarn”ed her that he would be exercising his hall pass in their open relationship in Cabo. Even though he was with her naked, he was already making plans to whore it up in Mexico. (Watch the clip.)

Meeting of the Manipulative Minds: Spencer met with the She-Pratt at Karma Coffeehouse to rant about his domestic non-bliss. “I don’t know who I dislike more right now – Heidi’s mom or sister. Stalker mom came to town and was lighting me up. Holly is the mooch of the century. I have to spend my days in a coffee shop because she’s on my office all day long. Yes he does mean the couch! Holly convinced her to write a letter to LC. I didn’t get to read it or spellcheck it. It’s the first secret she ever kept from me. Holly is really throwing some wrenches into this machine. They started the war. They came out here and bombed me like Pearl Harbor.” Without so much of a raised brow at his disrespectful overstatement, Steph offered these words of warning: “You can’t go to war with somebody’s family that you want to marry.” She also told him that Heidi has to be the one to push her out the door.

No More Free Lunch: Before going to brunch, Spencer put his foot down. “We are not bringing your sister to another meal. We live with her. We do not have to eat every meal with her. I want you to tell her that her free rent, free food, free living is over. I cannot live with your sister anymore. It’s either her or me. One of us has to move out.” Heidi sided with her significant other and met with Holly on the balcony later. “I think that it’s time that we figure out somewhere else for you to live.” Holly reacted incredulously as if living off your younger sister for months is a completely acceptable life path. Heidi continued, welling up slightly, “It was only supposed to be a week or two. I’m at work all the time and I don’t know if you are out looking for a job or places. Spencer says that you’re here a lot. I can’t figure out your life for you. I love having you here, but it can’t be at the cost of my relationship.” While we do think the spoiled Pratt can be unreasonable, demanding and uber-selfish, we have to side with him on this one. Holly has outstayed her welcome. --Carrie Bell

Tell us: Was it fair of Spencer to ask Heidi to kick Holly out? Should Aud choose Corey or JB? Who is a bigger doormat where their boyfriend is concerned – Aud or Heidi?

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