On last night’s America’s Next Top Model, it was buh-bye for two models rather than one. And Miss J’s runway lesson in a bowling alley didn’t exactly work wonders for all the girls. A sample of Jay‘s walking witticisms: Isis “walks a little bit like she’s on ice. How convenient. Is-is.” And “we could actually bowl between your legs,“ he said of “bow-legged” Sam. But ultimately Hannah got offed for her clunky, bizarre strut during a runway show for Jeremy Scott (watch the clip). Tyra didn’t even bother to show up to deliver the news. Instead, Hannah had to hear it from the Jays alongside Seventeen editor-in-chief Ann Shoket.
That meant she also did without Paulina’s nasty comments at the judging table (a sample from this week’s bashing: “This is the headless horseman drowning in a pool of his own blood!” she said of Marjorie’s photo.). Nor did she receive an annoying lecture from know-it-all Tyra, summarizing all her flaws. Wait, actually, perhaps this was a lucky break for Hannah, who reminded us all, yet again, that she’s just a small-town girl from Alaska. As if there was any doubt. Earlier in the episode she actually uttered this folksy bit to a down-on-her-luck Analeigh: “I don’t understand pity parties. You pick up your beans and you keep on rolling.” And yep, she even incorporated a finger snap. We imagine Hannah must be finger-snapping her way back to Alaska. If designer Jeremy Scott had his way, Sam would have been cut instead for committing the sin of lifting her dress at the end of the runway. “I don’t know if you thought you saw a pole,” said an incensed Scott, who described her walk as “a mix of a truck driver and a stripper.“ Miss Jay agreed, “I saw a whole lot more than I wanted to see.” Really, guys? She was wearing black tights!
Meanwhile Analeigh “smiled with her friggin eyes” down the runway despite having to wear a blindfold like the rest of the girls. We‘re still trying to figure out how that works. Regardless, Miss Jay declared her “fantastasticals!“ But Joslyn walked away with the top prize -- a photo shoot for 15 year-old designer Kira Plastinina’s line.
The next day, the girls got downright giddy at the sight of a photographer in the pool. “Oh my God, it’s Nigel Barker, and he looks hot in a wetsuit, I’ll be the first to admit,” said Analeigh. But not the last. In the water, Clark could not keep her cool. When Nigel asked her what she was thinking about during the shoot, which focused on their eyes, she replied seductively, “I’m thinking of laying on a bed.” Mr. J noted, “You know what I think Clark was doing? Flirting with Nigel.” Duh! And guess what, it worked because at judging Nigel said, “you smiled with your whole body, and it really worked.” Yeah, we bet it did, Nigel.
Clark scored the winning photo, knocking off Elina, who struggled to come up with poses. “What do you think made you so stuck?” Tyra asked. Perhaps she was scared that butt-ugly red weave would fall out in the water! Which actually wouldn’t be a bad thing. But Isis was afraid of something else falling out, despite her “like, three pairs of undergarments.” And she was forced to go home due to her “sleepy” look. But the classy Isis announced to the camera with her trademark ginormous earrings and a tiara: “I want to go out there and make my dreams come true.” --Jenny Sundel
Tell us: Were you happy to see Hannah go? Do you think Isis has what it takes to be a top model?