Big Brother Recap: The Colonel Is Shipped Out

09/12/2008 AT 12:00 AM EDT



In the blink of a teary eye Keesha went from final two contender to the latest disgruntled Jury House member. Meanwhile, the final three--Memphis, Dan and Jerry--were strapping themselves in for the first round of a three part final HoH competition. From the start, all-star floater Jerry may have had a wing, but the never really had a prayer.

The Renegades Wing It: Part one of the final HoH had the two Renegades, and their septuagenarian patsy, doing a bit of wing-walking. Despite the obvious warning signs, Jerry approached the competition as a way of proving his worth to his faux ally Memphis. "This was the first time someone actually did what they promised me," the misguided Colonel later recounted, "and that was Memphis sending Keesha home."

All the while, Dan kept playing the "I hate Memphis" game, almost to a fault. Jerry ate up the ham-fisted act between his two rivals, with the Colonel later saying, "Memphis and Dan now feel betrayed by each other, and it's now leading to quite a rift." "Rift" aside, Jerry fell first and fast, leaving Dan and Memphis to battle it out for the final HoH. The Renegades plan: to have Memphis follow suit after Jerry's crash, leaving Dan as HoH. But with the wind, rain, and bipolar biplanes wreaking havoc, things started to get dicey for the two Renegades. 'I'm up there hanging on for dear life," Dan later croaked, "and so was Memphis. That was not part of the original plan!" Eventually the mixologist dropped off, giving Dan the first round of the final HoH competition.



The Heat Is On: Even as he watched his "ally" throw the first round of the final HoH, Jerry was still under the spell of Memphis. The Colonel thanked the mixologist for his effort, and later saying of his early-episode nemesis, "I'm really enjoying Memphis right now. There's a nice side to him." Alas, poor Colonel, the nicest side of Memphis you would ever see would be his backside as he walked out the BB door.

With all opposition seemingly cast aside, the Renegades were one step closer to victory. The only thing standing in their way? A Jerry vs. Memphis showdown in round 2 of the HoH competition. "Memphis has got to win heat two," Dan later admitted, "If he loses to Jerry, all of my hard work is going right down the toilet."

The BB Knockout: With his BB life on the line, and facing Memphis in the second round of the last HoH, the last thing Jerry wanted to see was pugilist gear. "When Dan walked out with a pair of boxing gloves," the Colonel later croaked, "I was hoping that I didn't actually have to box Memphis, cause I didn't want to die at this age." But not even the BB producers could be that cruel. Round 2 may have been a ten round fight to the finish, but all it involved was the two contestants knocking down cutout figures and leaving each week’s HoH and Eviction Nominees standing.

Jerry started out strong, but by the time he reached week four, the Colonel was wandering around, actually talking to the cardboard cutouts, looking for answers. Jerry went from saying "I'm totally lost!" to admitting, "I'm so lost!" After ten rounds, the mixologist bested the Colonel, with a disparity in time that would make any Marine weep. Memphis finished in 8:35 mins., while an "ashamed" Jerry finished in 51:27 mins.

Jerry Waves A Peculiar "White Flag": The Colonel, "embarrassed" by his poor showing in the ring, retired to his bedroom of solitude, only to suffer the further indignity of having America watch as he dropped his shorts, revealing a saggy pair of white underwear. Just when you thought you've seen enough of the grandfather's skin, the former Marine delivered a not-so-tighty-whitey moment for the ages. Here is hoping that the Colonel gets a Fruit of the Loom contract out of all of this.

HoH Round 3--Renegade vs. Renegade: With Jerry out of the HoH picture, it was all Renegades in round 3. Dan wanted to take his third HoH to prove to the Jury House that he was the player to back and Memphis wanted a win, just so that he could have an HoH feather in his cap. The contest revolved around how well either contestant knew the Jury House members. Host Julie Chen would read a statement from one of the Jury members, then each Renegade had to guess how that statement would most likely be finished.Memphis got tripped up, giving Dan the final HoH victory--and the power to cast the final vote to evict.

The Colonel Sent On Permanent Leave: This was one eviction ceremony that didn't waste any time. Jerry gave his same, tiresome eviction speech. Dan then stood up and said, (47 minutes in) "It's tough. We've come so far, and we're one step away from the money." The schoolteacher then gave a short class in gravitas, cutting Jerry from the household, saying, "I just hope that when I'm 75, I can be half the competitor that you are. Jerry, you've made a heck of a run at this, but I'm sorry, I have to evict you."

Seven Angry Houseguests: Over at the Jury House, Keesha's arrival was met with a combination of cheers and jeers. Renny rushed to Keesha's side, while Michelle, Libra, Ollie and April let the Jury House crickets do most of the talking. When Keesha went on her anti-Memphis offensive, none of the Jury listened. Dan's plan to stack the House in his favor took a hit when Michelle dropped the bomb that the schoolteacher had lied to his housemates and taken her on the private island getaway. In a classic "let's go to the videotape" moment, the disgruntled Jurors watched as Dan played the BB fiddle, with both Keesha and Michelle begrudgingly admitting that the Michigan native was the strongest, but most distrustful player left. --Reagan Alexander

Tell us: How do you think the Jury Members will vote--for Dan or Memphis?

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