The Bachelorette’s Graham Finally Reveals His Feelings for DeAnna

The Bachelorette’s Graham Finally Reveals His Feelings for DeAnna
Craig Sjodin/ABC

06/27/2008 AT 12:00 AM EDT

Graham Bunn, 29, was a frontrunner from day 1 of The Bachelorette, but he and his perfect abs shockingly got the boot during a rose ceremony that finally lived up to host Chris Harrison’s favorite word: dramatic. The former pro basketball player turned bar owner/model rang from his adopted home of New York City to discuss the final three, the goodbye letter, and his oft-mentioned failure to open up. – Carrie Bell

DeAnna constantly accused you of being closed off and acting like her feelings for you were stronger than yours for her. Was this true?I think that she and I suffered from a severe case of miscommunication. I don’t question that her feelings were strong for me and I also shared strong feelings for her. Where we were in the process may have been different. As much as she wanted me to open up and say that I was falling in love and ready for marriage, I never heard those things directed towards me in an individual setting. As far as her being ready, I am sure she is. But in regards to she and I, we were more on the same level than she knows.

If she would have kept you around a few more weeks, do you think you would have opened up more?I believe that the more time that she and I spent together, the further along in the process of getting to know each other we would have gotten. We were moving along in that direction. It just wasn’t at the speed we both agreed upon.

Did you feel like your mom’s conversation with DeAnna sealed your fate?I know she doesn’t want to throw me under the bus. It was just misconstrued a little bit. I know she loves me to death and I know that anything she said was said not in a hurtful way but out of knowledge that she had of my dating history.

Was there a point where you realized, I am probably not getting a rose?There was a moment when she was getting ready to leave the hometown date that I felt major questions about our future together. I questioned whether she and I could make it long term. I was not surprised at all to go home at that rose ceremony. She wanted me to get to a place that I couldn’t get to in the time frame. She did what she felt she needed to do and I think we both agreed that in that setting we were not the right match.

If there were no cameras and no other guys, do you think you would have gotten there?No, I don’t think I could have fallen in love with DeAnna.

It seemed like you went through a wide range of emotions on that bench – ambivalence, anger, sadness. It wasn’t anger. It was the realization that the process was over and that she would move on. I had a special connection with her. I knew that would be the end for us. It would not be healthy for she and I to be friends. You share things with someone and then you never talk to them again, so it was a sad moment.

When did you write the letter and what was its goal?It was something I had written after the hometown date because if it was time for me to go, I might not be able to put into words everything I wanted to say everything in the brief amount of time I was given. The letter was a lot of all of the above. It was a goodbye. It was a way to open up. I wanted to leave her as a lasting impression of myself as a person. It was things I felt she needed to hear that I realized about her, myself, the process and what she and I shared.

What were the best and worst moments of the show experience for you?The best parts of the show were times with her where we didn’t have to talk about marriage. We could just kinda hang out together, laugh and joke. When there wasn’t the pressure to make it to this place that is difficult for a lot of to get to in a set time period. That was stressful for me. The worst part about the show was the night I left. Causing her pain was something I never wanted to do. It was a painful thing for me to leave knowing that we wouldn’t be hanging out anymore.

That makes it sound like you didn’t go into it looking for marriage. No, that was totally my goal, but the best thing about the show… was getting to know her and going through the process of connecting with someone. But the entire reason for going was to meet some amazing person that would complete the voids that have been left by an unsuccessful dating past--that was something I looked forward to. That’s something I actively want in my life. I just don’t believe we were right for each other.

Last week on the conference call, Twilley shockingly said he thought the person with the best chance of ending up with her was Jesse. That does not shock me at all. I believe Jason and Jeremy would make better partners to spend the rest of her life with. I feel personally Jason offers her the best well-rounded choice for someone who can fulfill all her needs and wants in life. Jesse would be the worst fit of the three. Not saying that he doesn’t offer a lot, but I just think the other two offer more. I don’t think you’re missing anything in the edit of Jesse. He is a fun-loving guy. I think if there are any questions about that interaction, I would imagine it is because might be missing something in the edit of DeAnna.

Like?I’m going to go ahead and no comment on that one.

What did you learn from this that you’ll take into future dating situations? If I were to do it again, I would make a concerted effort to express some of the things that I thought I expressed through actions. The experience has shown me that sometimes words mean more to than actions. That’s something I would apply to when I get back out there.

And when you do, what are you looking for?I would like to be with someone I’m attracted to but at the end of the day the most important thing is being with someone who can make me smile and make me feel good about the daily grind and someone that I can share those times with.

Craig Sjodin/ABC


From Our Partners