"First, you need to be healthy," the Dancing with the Stars host, 39, tells Shape magazine in its January issue, on newsstands Dec. 20. "That means exercising to relieve stress and build energy. It truly is good for your sex drive to work out."
Second, she says, create a romantic mood with candles and sexy music on date night.
And third? Don't break that date, no matter what.
"I'll fess up here," Burke says. "Sometimes we're so tired, it's just a glass of wine and a good night's sleep. But the point is that we're making a commitment to each other and saying, 'We love the kids, but we matter too.' "
Burke, who has two small children with Charvet and two older kids with ex-husband Garth Fisher, says it's "really easy to lose yourself and just become a mom." And that's why exercise is so crucial – because of the self-confidence it gives women as they get older.
"There's something magical about a woman who feels comfortable in her own skin," she says. "Power and beauty come from a very deep place. You can look at a supermodel and, yes, she's beautiful, but then you meet a woman who just has something special about her, who becomes more attractive as you get to know her."
She adds: "The older a woman gets, the more she can tap into that – at least that's what I've experienced personally. It's about owning who you are."