Charlie Sheen Is Going on Tour

By Alison Schwartz

03/11/2011 at 01:05 PM EST

Charlie Sheen has said his bizarre rants and one-liners are not an act, but they're going to be.

The fired Two and a Half Men star is taking his personal show on the road, embarking on what is sure to be an epic journey: Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo of Truth.

The one-man-show kicks off in Detroit on April 2, followed by a stop in Chicago. Only two dates have been announced so far, and tickets go on sale Saturday.

"Will there be mayhem? Will you ask questions?" a show description reads on Ticketmaster's Web site. "Will you laugh? Will you scream? Will you know the truth?"

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To follow-up those questions with a few Sheen-isms: Will he be accompanied by his army of assassins – or his goddesses? Will he find a tuxedo that fits his chest and biceps for the occasion? Will he come prepared with his fire-breathing fists?

And while he lets those questions simmer, Sheen does make one promise: "This IS where you will hear the REAL story from the Warlock," the description continues. "Bring it. I dare you to keep up with me."

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Tickets start at $35.