Picks and Pans Review: The Bachelor Finale

UPDATED 03/21/2011 at 01:00 AM EDT Originally published 03/21/2011 at 01:00 AM EDT

COMMIT, BRAD, or else!

Dear Mr. Womack,

You aren't going to screw this up, are you? You will hand a rose to Chantal or Emily on The Bachelor's March 14 finale. I just wish I trusted you, but you still have this weird evasiveness. Would it really have been so reckless to kiss Emily while her daughter slept upstairs? You're on a top ABC show, not in a Henry James novel! And your annoying querulousness in dumping Ashley-what, did she get your food order wrong? Give your heart away and give us all some happiness. Gracias!

XOXO, A crabby romantic

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