FROM JERSEY SHORE
Season 3 of MTV's smash hit ends March 24. What inspiring pointers did we learn during the season's standout moments?
1. SNOOKI'S ARREST
She partied into the day and fell over in the sand like a bowling pin, so the cops took her away. Her dad told her he was disappointed, not mad. This sobered her up. Briefly.
LESSON: To tame a Snooki, shame a Snooki.
2. JENNI'S GUY TROUBLES
Jenni broke up with her boyfriend back home and pursued an unpromising relationship with a strangely elusive local guy.
LESSON: Don't be a JWOWW if what you want is know-howw.
3. THE HAZING OF DEENA
Newcomer Deena, Snooki's BFF, struggled to fit in. One might ask why you'd want to fit in with cave dwellers. Still, she cried. It was sad.
LESSON: Besties with Snooki is frenemies with everyone else.
4. A SORRY SITUATION
Prank-loving Mike "the Situation" called a cab for Deena and Snooki but gave the driver secret instructions to drop them off in Manhattan. As comeuppance, the gang smeared his bed with cheese.
LESSON: A six-pack belly does not make up for a one-track mind.
5. RONNIE & SAMMI'S WAR
The couple were like pro wrestlers, showing no respect for physical boundaries. A miserable spectacle.
LESSON: Know what? Skip the lesson. You guys just aren't good for each other.
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