Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas
Courtesy Chelsea Kane
Three is a magic number. It's the number of counts in the Viennese waltz. The number of days I've been learning the Viennese waltz for Dancing with the Stars
since starting this blog and it's also the number of years I'm going to have to spend in therapy to stop counting everything in three's. For example ...
Three things I've learned this week:
1. Mark Ballas
has toes of steel. I've stepped on every single one of them and he never flinches.
2. Mark Ballas has a chin of steel. I've head butted him twice now and he still hugs me at the end of rehearsal.
3. I have legs of steel. Literally, they are made out of solid, cold metal because they don't bend or do anything graceful. Scratch that, they're made of copper. Still stiff, just really golden.
Three things I wish I hadn't learned this week:
1. The smell of Mark's knee pads. It's as if the NHL bottled the stench of their used uniforms and doused Mark's knee pads with it. I know this because whenever I make a mistake with the choreography, Mark forces me to take a whiff as punishment.
2. Wood burns. That seems obvious if we're talking about a forest fire, but I'm talking about when your body is being dragged across a dance floor at warp speed, it can take a layer of skin off.
3. There are not enough carbs in the world to satisfy me.
Three facts about the Viennese waltz:
1. It's the oldest of the current ballroom dances.
2. There is a move in it called a "fleckerls," which makes me laugh every time I hear it. Do you imagine a chubby kid with a lisp pointing at his sunspots, too?
3. It's really easy to learn.
Okay, I totally made that last one up, but here's a really great little snippet of info that I stole off Wikipedia:
"The Waltzen, as written in a magazine from 1799, is performed by dancers who held on to their long gowns to prevent them from dragging or being stepped on. The dancers would lift their dresses and hold them high like cloaks and this would bring both their bodies under one cover. This action also required the dancers' bodies to be very close together and this closeness also attracted moral disparagement. Wolf published a pamphlet against the dance entitled 'Proof that Waltzing is the Main Source of Weakness of the Body and Mind of our Generation' in 1797."
Wow. How freaked would this Wolf guy be if he saw Cheryl Burke
, Kirstie Alley
and me out at the club last week?
On that note:
1. Thanks for reading.
2. Thanks for watching.
3. Thanks for voting!