05/23/2011 at 03:00 PM EDT
I can't even begin to tell you all how much pride and excitement
I felt going into Monday's season premiere
of The Bachelorette
. Those two emotions stem from finally being able to show off my 25 men, and to start a journey that has changed my life forever.
Though this first episode I say goodbye to seven men, the interactions with each and every one of them helped me through by showing me what I wanted in a man, and how I wanted to feel. Each one of these men taught me something, and for this, I will be forever grateful.
Going into the first night, I was the most nervous I had been in a very long time. I worried the men would hop back into the limo if they didn't like what they saw. Even though it became apparent to me that some were more interested than others, the guys did such a great job of putting me at ease and making me feel confident enough to move forward without caution.
Although Jeff, (a.k.a. the mask) endured much skepticism, I think, in theory, it's a great angle coming into the first night. He both caught my attention and stood out from the rest. Plus, I really wanted to see what he looked like under the mask!
Coming into this experience, I had a list of a few things I was looking for in a husband, and the first night, I saw ALL of those in Ryan P. He deserved the first impression rose more than anyone. On top of that, when he walked out of the limo, I nearly fainted.
Bentley. Need I say more? It's always been important to me to judge a person based on what I know of them, so going into this first night I had guards up, but he easily broke them down with his good looks and savvy way with words. How could I not have trusted him? Every woman in my shoes would have given him a rose too.
I am sure many of you can tell by my high-pitched voice and nervous intonation, going into this first night I was very nervous and I didn't know what to expect. That all changed immediately after I met the men. I know it may sound crazy to hear me say that I think my husband was in the room on the first night, but I felt confident in what my gut was telling me.
Keep watching to see if my intuition was right! Thank you for all your love and support!
For more on The Bachelorette check out Chris Harrison's blog on EW.com