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Bachelorette Blog: Why Ben F. Has the 'Total Package'

Ashley Hebert - Bachelorette Recap
Ashley Hebert and Ben Flajnik

06/21/2011 AT 08:15 AM EDT

I can't even tell you how much better I was feeling this week as we headed north to Chiang Mai. With so many great dates and memorable moments in Phuket, I was so excited to see where these relationships would go next!

Ben [Flajnik] stood out to me more than anyone else on the orphanage date the week prior. He was funny, witty, artistic and great with the kids. On top of that, he looked great in a beanie! I could not wait to take him on the first date in Chiang Mai, a city of great cultural significance.

At the marketplace, we were able to listen to Thai music, taste Thai cuisine (which happens to be my favorite) and visit one of the oldest temples in the world. I learned from this date that Ben was the total package. He was easy to be around, interesting to talk to, and had so much depth to him. All I wanted to do was kiss him, but just my luck – we were at one of the holiest places in Thailand and could not kiss. The tension was tangible.





All I have to say about the Muay Thai date is ... group date gone wrong! I love being active and looking at the guys' bodies. I knew they did, too, but I had no idea just how intense this was going to be.

Not only was it 100 degrees in the training area but also the trainers were no joke. I found myself scared that if I did something wrong they would try to fight me! But the guys got a good workout and all proved to me that they could definitely keep up with me. After this, I'm not sure I could keep up with them!

I knew the guys would be fighting each other, but had NO IDEA they would take it as seriously as they did. It seemed as if they were taking out some hidden aggression on each other! They were kicking and punching as hard as they could. I never thought it would go as far as it did. Poor Ames was a trooper. We did send him to the hospital, but luckily he was okay. Cheers to you, Ames!

Double Elimination Date

Looking back, I have to say that this date was the date I dreaded most this entire season. I know how stressful and awkward it can be for all parties, and knowing I was sending someone home in the middle of the date made it difficult to really enjoy it.

William and Ben C. were both guys that at one point, I felt something for. At this point, I was questioning my relationships with both of the guys – I was looking for a change of heart with at least one of them. When William told me that Ben had questionable intentions, I reacted very quickly.



I found myself growing angry and realized that it wasn't worth keeping anyone here if they were even somewhat concerned about their online date-ability after they left. But sending Ben home was not based solely on what William brought to my attention – it was a combination of us both having questionable feelings for one another.

This date then turned into a one-on-one date with William and almost immediately I knew I wasn't feeling the same way I did on our first date. So much had happened since then, and there was certainly no turning back.

Bentley on My Mind

During this deliberation, you saw me talk about "thinking of Bentley." As much as everyone (including myself) is annoyed with the mere mention of his name, I hope people will understand how mystified I was when he left. At that point, I was almost beyond the intensity of feelings I had for Bentley with other guys and in fairness to them, needed to be sure that the "dot-dot-dot" Bentley gave me became a period.

I still felt like Bentley was an obstacle that prevented me from fully committing to other guys, and I was starting to become concerned that the guys were feeling my hesitation as well. I needed to be sure that I could still trust my instinct and that this journey would work for me. I needed answers.



Until next week, thanks everyone.

For more on The Bachelorette, check out Chris Harrison's blog on EW.com

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